


Introspective

by Serpensortia_parapluie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 05:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17217542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpensortia_parapluie/pseuds/Serpensortia_parapluie
Summary: Sometimes, Naruto just needs to take a moment for himself.





	Introspective

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own, nor am I associated with the creators of Naruto, and I do not give permission for my works to be posted on sites like Goodreads.  
> This is set a little after the formation of Team 7, and before the Wave mission. Even Naruto has off days.

Being optimistic all the time is hard.

It takes a lot of effort, and no one seems to appreciate that. They think Naruto is naturally happy and energetic all the time, but people don’t work that way. It’s impossible to always be happy or upbeat, especially in the face of unrelenting negativity.

No one pays attention to Naruto, except to look down on him.

The villagers and general public’s eyes are empty when they look right over him, when they’re not full of hate.

Ji-ji barely seems to see Naruto, and their visits are short and nowhere near enough to make up for the rest of the time Naruto spends barely beneath most people’s notice.

Sakura only pays him attention long enough to berate him for something. He’s loud, he’s stupid, he’s too annoying, how dare he think he can compare to the _amazing_ Sasuke! Then she whacks him on the head hard enough to make him see stars.

Sasuke looks down on him and only gives him the time of day long enough to beat him into the ground. That’s more than Naruto gets from most people.

Kakashi-sensei doesn’t pay him any attention except to call him things he thinks Naruto’s too stupid to realize mean ‘dumb’.

Iruka-sensei doesn’t have time to spend with Naruto now that he’s graduated, and he’s always busy, busy, busy.

They’re not all like that all the time, but today they were, and frankly, he’s had enough right now. He’s got nothing to smile for right now, so he’s not.

Team 7 has the next two days off, so Naruto packs a little overnight bag and heads out to his favorite camping spot. He can’t stay in his little cramped apartment, all his bad feelings are bouncing around the small walls and getting worse and worse. He needs to be able to _breathe_.

He gets to the clearing- it’s near the back of the Hokage monument, out of the main thoroughfare, next to a stream, and has a little alcove in the actual cliff-face he can shelter in if it rains- and instead of setting up camp, curls into a ball in the alcove.

He found this place when he was four, and has made sure to only come back scarcely because sometimes, all he wants in the world is to stay in this little clearing forever.

No one looks down on him here, or through him, or like they’d like him to disappear. No whispers follow him here about how he’s a monster and should be dead. The only sounds he hears are the wind through the trees, the burbling water flowing over stones in the stream, bugs and wildlife, and the occasional burst of noise from the village, too far to make out any details, and close enough he doesn’t feel like he’s completely alone in the world all the time.

Here’s the place he goes to cry- actually cry, not just tear up, he does that fairly often. He almost never cries in the village. He holds it in until he can come here. No one’s here to hear him wail, and sniff, and hiccough when he’s run out of energy. No one’s here to see his face covered in tears, or make fun of him for feeling upset.

He doesn’t cry this time. He’s not sad, just… _tired_. He puts his chin on his knees and gazes blankly at the reeds on the bank of the stream.

Naruto barely blinks as he lets his thoughts drift, and allows himself to just… _be_ , for a while.

No one in Konoha seems to want him around, but that’s alright. Nature doesn’t seem to care all that much either, but it’s much less personal that way. The trees don’t care if he’s there or not, but they don’t hate him either for something done to him that he can’t control and had no say in.

Something is darting around above the stream- Naruto’s pretty sure they’re dragonflies. Sometimes he likes to chase after them and catch them just because he can, and let them go again to watch their pretty wings as they dart away.

The sky is clear and blue, and the sun is beating down, reflecting off the moving water in bright white sparks. Naruto knows from experience, if he looked around the inside of the cave right now, everything would be brightly green and hard to distinguish until his eyes finally adjusted.

He doesn’t.

Outside the alcove and to his right, there’s some kind of bug whirring, off-set by the strange sounds of a bird to his left.

Naruto breathes iiiinnnn and out. He shifts to lay on his stomach, propping his chin on his folded arms and swinging his feet back and forth idly.

He thinks about nothing in particular as the time passes slowly, until the shadows are growing deep in the clearing and he shakes away his lethargy to finally finish setting up camp. It takes no time, as all he does is unroll his bedroll in the alcove, eat a few ration bars, and create a few shadow clones to scout around and keep watch.

He turns around to lay on his back on the bedroll, his feet towards the mouth of the alcove, slowly drifting off to sleep to the sound of the stream and the pleasant rhythm of night-time wildlife.

Sometime tomorrow, he’s going to dig deep and drudge up another smile to wear until he can’t bear it anymore again, and he’ll go out and say hi to his team and train until he drops.

Tonight, he’s going to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun facts!  
> 1) I absolutely do not like the title, but it was the closest to the feel of the story that I wanted that I could find.  
> 2) My notes for this fic are literally: Naruto having a sad. He’s going to be focused and determined again, tomorrow.   
> Today, he’s just going to _be_.  
> 3) I have no idea what kind of wildlife is in Konoha. Is their climate/environment a good habitat for dragonflies and reeds? I just don't know.  
> 4) In the wake of the tumblr debacle, I've been considering getting a dreamwidth. Opinions?  
> 5) As always, please leave a comment telling me if you liked or disliked something or if you see any way for me to improve! Thank you.


End file.
